School Year 2010

Eric, painting at 18 months.  I have always tried to get "down and dirty" when playing with my kids.  We make messes often.  Whatever medium necessary....play dough, glitter, markers, dress up clothes piled high, and yes, dirt.  It's fun to use a stick to write your name in the dirt.  It's fun to carry it around and pretend its birthday cake, too.  I used to work full time as a teacher. 

When I was working,  Papa John watched Eric two days a week.  This is a picture of Eric getting "down and dirty."  Yes, you see eggs, sugar, flour, and a baking pan.  He tried to make chocolate chip cookies!!  Where was Papa John? He had the CAMERA!!

Here is Ella and Cailin painting.  I can't believe its only been five short years.  I am an "at home mommy" now.  Still, we make messes.  Cailin is doing a great job learning her ABCs.  Books, crafts, songs, and treasure hunts!  Baking, too....but Mommy is in charge of that!  I feel so very blessed.

Time is flying by.  This is a picture of the 2009 school year kicking off for Eric, as a kindergartner. 

And now the 2010 school year is fully under way!  I am in desperate need of getting messy at the beach! The weather is amazing!!  Now, if I could only make the time!!

Pics

Just scrolled down my blog.  No pics since July.  What's with that?  Will do.  Ella is still up though.......

Saturday Night

Saturday night is full of screams and laughter.  Then, silence.  Billy teaches at youth group during this time, which changed its meeting date from Sunday to Saturday.  This is a nice change that means we see Daddy all day on Sunday :) This change also means that the girls and I have a night to ourselves...because, of course, Eric must join the middle school and high school kids, after all he is a big kid.  I have had fun plans for these nights.  Nails, hair, pjs, baking desserts, watching movies, playing games... I still do have those plans.  But the last three Saturday nights have come and gone and I have not followed through with any of those plans.  (The ideas were only in my head though....if the girls ever knew my thoughts...I would HAVE TO follow through.)  Instead tonight after a dinner of leftovers, the girls got in the tub.  Alayna wanted to wash Ella and Cailin.  And Cailin wanted to wash Alayna.  That's when the laughter started.  Shrieks and giggles.  So very very loud. All three tried swimming in the tub, which was followed by Row, Row, Row Your Boat with water going everywhere!  Then they tried wrestling each other in the tub...this quickly ended tub time.  Still giddy, the girls ran about the house, still wet and naked.  Funny thing was, the laughter wasn't one-sided.  (You know, one laughing and the other crying.)  My plans did go down hill.  No baking. No game. It turned out to be a night where we let the playroom stay messy, watch a 20 minute video, read a book and go to bed.  Nothing pajama- party- like at all.  But the giggles and laughter were enough.  I'd love to capture it all somehow.  Cailin and Alayna went to bed with a fuss at all for Daddy.  Ella, too! (Though she is up now.  The night didn't stay silent.  She was up before I finished this blog.  Finally, all.....yes all....of her teeth are now coming through.)  Next Saturday....baking muffins in our pjs.  Tea party with stuffed animals.  I promise.  Just don't tell the girls. 

September

It's September!! Though the summer air still lingers, fall activities are beginning.  Gators football is on. The girls and I are doing crafts. Saturday afternoon is upon us and it's time to type this blog then sit and relax with my kids.  I am very thankful for the way school has started.  Getting out of the house has become routine and the kids even have time to straighten up and veg for a bit before we leave.  Eric loves first grade.  He says it's amazing. Alayna was brave going to PreK, and then when the second week arrived....decided to fuss all she could.  Yes, Lanie, you have to go everyday :(  We have seen the stomach virus and a head cold tear through our house.  So next week can only get better! Cailin and Ella have been great at home...letting Mommy get work done.  They play together quietly.  Ahhh! Yes, quietly!  After school is always a challenge and still is.  Pure insanity breaks out when Eric gets home.  He is good about doing his homework and having a snack.  After that, it becomes loud.  Very loud.  I have attempted to make "centers" for the kids to play in, so they can have time to do things themselves.....a craft, the computer, books, drums... But our time is best spent running wild outside with games and races and bikes.  Our busy evenings are just beginning.  Soccer hasn't started yet.  Hoping it starts to feel like fall before it starts. 

A Change is Gonna Come....

Summer: beach, pool, beach, pool, pool, beach, beach, pool........

School time: All of us OUT by 8am. Dressed. Fed. Clean. Prepared. Off to South Woods Elementary...Eric will be in first grade (crossing my fingers he likes it better than last year.)  Off to Elkton Academy...Alayna will be in VPK (crossing my fingers she stays excited).  Then home to regroup (dishes, laundry, "homeschool" Cailin) or out to run errands (food shopping: Publix, Walmart, CVS, Hitchcocks).  Lunch at 11:30.  Pick up Alayna at 12:30.  Hope Cailin and Ella stay awake.  Ella can sleep from 1:00-3:10 (crossing my fingers she gets into this routine).  Pick up Eric from school bus at 3:15.  Snack. Homework. Play. Clean.  Wait for Daddy for dinner. (This is the most challenging part of the day). Off to Bible Study or AWANA at Mount Olive, teach teens at Flagler Estates, Soccer practice or game....

I am tired just thinking about all of this.  To think there is so much more on top of all of this!! I am looking forward to leaning on my Savior through the craziness of the school season. 

Mandie

Days have passed since the anniversary of Mandie's death.  I would have loved to blog about her that day, but time wouldn't allow.  Funny, huh, how precious life is, that it could end at any moment.  I certainly know this to be true.  The idea strikes home for me, big time...and still I allow time to take hold of me, instead of I taking hold of it.  

Anyway, not having my sister around these last eleven years has been hard. Way too hard for me to  express with any magical words to make you understand.  The way pain, loss, and grief grip you- no words could do it justice.  I can describe, though, the things that I miss....the things that anger me...and the things that I have learned.

I miss...her smile, her giggle, her eyes- she needed contacts, her nails- she always had painted, her skin- more golden than mine, her hair- thicker than mine, her handwriting- worse than mine.  When I close my eyes and imagine her- it's automatic...chest pain.  

I could be silliest with Mandie. She truly knew me- inside and out.   She cared for me...she cared for many.  She desired to honor the Lord in all that she did.  Even though we fought for the remote control...and clothes...and bathroom time...I knew she was always praying for me.  I truly miss my sister in the Lord.
 
I wish so badly for my kids to know their Aunt Mandie.  Eric remembered last year on August 4th...we watched home movies so he could see his Aunt and what she was like.  He remembered watching the movies...that means so much to me.  She whined to Mom and Dad...much like Cailin does.  She was feisty- much like Alayna.   We wrestled each other quite often- much like all my kids do. I can only pray that the relationships that my children share with each other, are cherished...much like the memories Chris and I have of Mandie.

There's a bit of me too...that's angered.  Anger with the man who killed her.  Anger about the lack of justice she received.   (He only got a careless driving ticket.)  Anger that she's gone.  Anger that my parents are not the same.  Don't get me wrong...I have forgiven and  I have accepted.  God has blessed me with a unique understanding, over time and with lots of prayer. 

I have learned that God is all knowing and all powerful.  I have learned that God is everywhere and He always is and was and is to come.  I have learned that He allowed Mandie to die.  This angered me the most until I realized how much God really loves me.  God allows so many things to happen.  Tragedies take place to so many everyday.  Tragedies have always been and always will be.  I don't know why.  But, and this is hard, I don't have to know why.  There is a peace in knowing that God is God, and I am not.  There is peace in knowing Him.  Peace is knowing that He loves me so much that He sent His Son to die for my sins.  Peace in believing this and knowing Him personally surpasses any knowledge I could ask for about why my sister was killed. 

The deepest pain is knowing that she is not here to pray with me and encourage me.  The biggest responsibilities come from the promises I made to her while laying her casket in the ground.  The most glorious part of the story...my life today- filled with a loving husband and four amazing children. Thank you Mandie. 

Nights....Days....

The following night it took another four hours.  Praise God that ended!! Now we have VBS and I am sleeping soundly at night.  So tired I can't wake up in the morning! VBS is keeping us busy.  Getting ready during the day and staying out all night :)  I would really love to post something about my little sis today, but not sure if I'll have time.  Well, there's always tomorrow.  (Do you sense the sarcasm??)